Dads, drums and bacon sandwiches November 11
The November blog comes to you courtesy of Joe Cooper from Drum with Dad, a professional early years music teacher from North Yorkshire.
Just as our singing session reached an end, a tiny girl put up her hand.
“Yes, Jessica?”
“My daddy’s coming at mummy time today!” the 3 year-old said excitedly.
“Wow! How exciting!”
“And then we’re going to the swings. Daddy pushes me extra high on the swings!”
The Jessicas and Jamillas (and Jacks and Jasons) of the world are very astute. After the nursery class had departed with their respective parents/carers/guardians, I asked a teaching assistant about the concept of ‘mummy time’. She smiled enigmatically: “This honestly happens every year. Even if we don’t encourage it they still end up calling the end of the day ‘mummy time’. And ‘parent or carer time’ is just not as catchy...”. In a different school a week later I was introducing myself to a reception class of thirty 4 year-olds when a giggle passed around the clapping circle: “You’re not a teacher! Teachers are girls!”
No parent needs telling that male role models and fathers can and do have a huge influence on the early development of children. The Fatherhood Institute’s (www.fatherhoodinstitute.org) 2010 research summary showed that children’s behaviour, aspirations and achievements are all heavily influenced by their fathers’ involvement, whether they are single-parent, widowers, working or stay-at-home dads. The success of UK schemes such as ‘Dads in demand’ (where 58% more children reached national curriculum objectives after their dads became involved in schooling) show that many institutions are taking the issue very seriously.
At work I am constantly reminded of my maleness (I hesitate to call it ‘masculinity’). After six years as a full-time primary teacher I recently set up self employed as a music specialist primary teacher, meaning I interact with a huge range of primary age children and staff. As well as teaching class music at various schools I tutor privately, run choir and instrumental groups and have organised several music workshops in the community.
When embarking on self-employment, I spent my last fully-paid summer holiday searching the internet for anything and everything about music education and children. The first thing that struck me was that while Netmums has 1 million members and Mumsnet boasts 4 million visits per month, copycat sites Dadsnet and Netdads have barely a thousand members between them. But it was not until I borrowed Harry (my 3 year-old nephew) for the day that I experienced a real light bulb moment. I took him to an established pre-school music class in Leeds. Me, Harry and eleven mums with their toddlers. Being a primary teacher I had no problems joining in the nursery rhymes, counting songs and movement activities; Harry really loved marching around and despite some funny looks I harmonised loudly on ‘She’ll be coming round the mountain’. But when my wife and I do have children, I think the novelty of the group would soon wear off. And come to think of it, I could not imagine any of my male friends or family members going anywhere near such a class. My brothers-in-law would probably keel over if they had to sing ‘Miss Polly had a dolly’ in public. Pre-school music classes find it very hard to attract and keep dads as regular attendees.
A little research later and I saw that along with stay-at-home fathers, playgroups aimed at dads are on the rise across the UK. The Church-run ‘Who let the dads out?’ has toddler groups nationwide, while the London-based ‘Dads and Little’uns’ has received press attention for its popularity and straightforward approach. As one forum said: ‘We are just a like a normal toddler group but run completely by men. And we have bacon sandwiches and more Lego’. Many of these toddler groups also include singing sessions (see Youtube: ‘Dambusters - Dads and Toddlers’).
So I decided to set up a pre-school music group aimed at dads. Successful franchises such as Baby ballet, Socatots, Tumble tots and Enjoy a ball are fantastic for active children, but some dads are put off by hanging around making small talk. They like to be involved, or at least given the opportunity to be involved. The dads groups I already mentioned cropped up in my research, but there were no music classes designed for, or even vaguely aimed at dads. So, armed with a few small percussion instruments and a smile I spoke to parents in playgrounds, outside supermarkets and in play areas. Here are some of the more memorable comments:
‘Dads hate standing around’
‘Encourage dads to take their mates – not everyone likes to be forced to make new friends’
‘Parents love it if you tire the kids out’
‘I am absolutely sick of Wheels on the bus – my kids love listening to Madness’
‘All blokes love drums’
The message was clear: if dads enjoy it, so would their children. And so it proved.
I was amazed that ‘drum’ and ‘dad’ were not already combined in the name of a group somewhere. Because of my teaching commitments I can only run Drum with Dad classes on Sundays, but this September virtually all the dads have signed up for the full term. The music is eclectic (Johnny Cash, Star Wars, Rossini and Jackson 5 etc...) and we even do some traditional nursery rhymes (in a strictly post-modern, ironic way), including our favourite fourth verse to ‘Row your boat’ ... with a jar of pickles / merrily merrily merrily / now it’s time for... tickles!
A sense of humour is very important: if a new dad comes along they are encouraged to take charge of our mid-session bubble blowing. And when Jerry Lee Lewis’ Great Balls of Fire comes on it is time for the little drummers to socialise by rolling and throwing soft balls to each other.
I have seen first-hand that many more dads would jump at the chance to know their child better, see them socialise and learn new skills... and get to play air guitar. The key to getting dads involved is simple: invite them, involve them and consider them at every step. Mum or partner gets a break, dad enjoys himself and the child benefits from a more balanced upbringing.
Links:
www.pre-school.org.uk – The pre-school learning alliance
www.fqmagazine.co.uk – UK magazine for dads
www.joecoopermusic.co.uk/drumwithdad – my website
Drum with Dad is a pre-school baby and toddler music class designed for dads and their little drummer girls and boys aged 6 months - 3 years held at Kidzplay in Harrogate.
Modern songs to learn, enjoy and share. Dads can get involved in drumming too! Encourage your child to socialise and interact. Learn when to take part in ‘musical noise’... ...and when to listen!
Testimonials
"Music fantastic and really tailored to dads - makes it different to just 'Wheels on the bus'! Joe's really friendly and makes you feel really welcome. Keep up the good work!"
Keith + Bella (7 months)
"A great time with lots of varied tunes and activities... You've got the balance between familiar tunes/games and new things."
Martin + Thea (2)
"Excellent content. Favourite activity is anything with up and about movement and rhythm."
Malcolm + Zoe (4) + Aidan (4)
Many thanks Joe :-)
Check out his website here www.joecoopermusic.co.uk/drumwithdad